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Sunday, September 27, 2009

the galilee emails

Toronto's Royal Ontario Museum is currently hosting an exhibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls. It is hard to drive around the GTA without seeing a bus-stop sign or a billboard promoting this important event. Recent work, from lesser known scholars than those who brought the Dead Ssea Scrolls to public attention, has unearthed another interesting set of documents. The Galilee emails seem to represent a dialogue between the John the disciple, and Jesus.


From:john@galilee.com
To: Jesus@galilee.com
Subject: unfair competition

Dear Master;

Several of our local area managers have observed someone casting out demons, and claiming to be from our company. I directed our representatives to take the appropriate action to have them cease and desist. I thought I’d better keep you in the loop.

Sincerely,

John
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From:jesus@galilee.com
To: john@galilee.com
Subject: your note

Dear John;

Thank you for your note. I am always happy to hear from you. As to the situation you describe:
Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me.

Yours,

Jesus
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From:john@galilee.com
To: Jesus@galilee.com
Subject: acting in your name

Dear Master;

With respect, I have discussed the situation with a few of the other regional management team, and we feel there are some issues you may not be taking into account. What about copyright infringement? If we allow an unlicensed operator to use your name and image, we could lose exclusivity.

Sincerely,

John
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From:jesus@galilee.com
To: john@galilee.com
Subject: good works

Dear John;

I can see that you are giving this matter a lot of attention. I appreciate your concern, but wish to remind you of the following:


Whoever is not against us is for us.

Peace be with you,

Jesus
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From:john@galilee.com
To: jesus@galilee.com
Subject: financial implications

Dear Master;

I know it is not my role in the company to set policy. I would never question your thinking. But I have to say that we are all more than a little concerned down here at the office. What happens if one person doing deeds in your name multiplies into two, and then five, and then ten? How do we do quality control? And what about the revenue stream? Some of your followers have been very generous in supporting the ministries. What happens if these upstarts also begin to collect in your name?

Your loyal servant,

John
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From:Jesus@galilee.com
To: john@galilee.com
Subject: abundance

Dear John;

You have always been such a good friend. I can see how much this is bothering you. Please, trust me on this! Don’t worry. Remember:Whoever is not against us is for us.


Yours in love,

Jesus